Words From The Heart

Behind the scenes, creating anything out of my own comfort zone brings a lot up for me. What I mean by “comfort zone” is the part of me that wants to hide out (in a sense) and not be seen—I just want to help support people to become their best selves in whatever way that means for them. But part of that for me means stepping it up also and seeing where I need to improve, as well. I’ve been wanting to bring more groups together again. I love and appreciate the work I am doing and have been able to do one-on-one with people, and yet I also know the magic that happens within a group and the ways that we all are better having come together to uplift, support, and learn from the collective. A group is its own entity— its own living, breathing organism all to itself, and that is a unique thing! I love that.

I have to be honest with you: the creation process for me can be really challenging sometimes— so much that it often makes me want to quit like 20 times a day. But then I push forward and reach out for help and support from the people who “get me” (that is a HUGE GIFT). Because guess what people: we are all just creating our lives as we go along, and that can be a strange, confusing, and FANTASTIC thing, and we ALL need help along the way. 

I’m sure you’ve gone through this in some way or another- trying to take on things that scare you, maybe even consume you! I know what it's like. You will never feel like doing the stuff that scares you. You can't listen to those feelings. It’s more about what you want and desire badly enough. Our brains seek comfort, so they want to quit. Taking risks is not “comfortable”. So you have to go back and override those feelings. You have to do it. You have to do it for yourself. The temporary discomfort of this is what leads you to what you actually want.

And it's worth it. Today, another client of mine emailed me in response to my workshop and told me that it came at the perfect time for her. I was shocked to hear from her!! Gosh I’m glad I didn’t quit. See we just never know until we try what surprises may come from taking those steps; one step at a time DOES lead to great leaps. I know this is true for all of you, and that can show up in all sorts of ways in our lives, having nothing to do with what my version is. It’s what YOUR STORY is. 

Just remember: when things get hard, when you’re trying to face the things you’re scared of or that you want to avoid, return to the basics. Breathe, rest, listen to your body's messages, take things one bit at a time, and turn to the people you know who love and care about you. You’re never as alone as your mind may tell you….

A Little Experiment, Because You're Selfish!

Stress is an ongoing thing for people no matter what month it is, but sometimes it feels more pressing than others. Apparently, April was just “stress awareness month”. Why April? Good question. I don’t know the answer, and I actually don’t care. But what I DO care about is the impact it can have on your health and your awareness is the first step. And yes, stress is a natural part of life.

As a way to create some outreach and support, last month I led a free call on stress relief/management and its impact on our daily health in ways that relate to everything from the stress on your cells from a toxic environment or too much junk food or the stress of an overly demanding boss. This is the perfect time to revisit this topic as it relates to that term you hear, “self care”. 

What do you think of when you hear the word “selfish”? What about selfish versus self-centered or self-involved? Different things, wouldn’t you say? Here’s what I invite you to try, and it may seem silly, but try this. Read this (below) OUT LOUD (ok, I know some of you can’t do this, but at least pretend like you are saying it out loud— maybe even picture an audience if you want or wait and see if someone’s face pops up in your mind as you read it slowly). See what you feel like; see how it sits with you. It’s just an experiment. Give it a try: 

“I am the selfish one. I don’t drop everything to take care of your immediate needs which derail me and keeps me from myself. I don’t feel badly for saying NO and claiming it, because holding true to healthy boundaries means I can say YES to other vital parts of myself and what I am meant to be doing. I listen to the messages of my intuition and let those messages guide me, because approval and outside influence aren’t always the key to truth. I realize the real need and impact for radical self care for the sake of bettering myself so that I CAN be of service to others. I see how “self care” can show up in many forms, both internally and externally, for myself. As “the selfish one”, I also allow and graciously receive the help and care of others. I place high value in my evolution, which means on all levels (mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically), and support others to do the same. I see how my “selfishness” only helps make things better all around because I am also giving you space and room to grow and breathe without me imposing or overstepping. I don’t need to “fix” you or everything; it’s not my job. I also don’t need to explain myself for everything; I can just be. When I don’t “take care” (however that means to me, even in the nature of my thoughts!), I get irritated, angry, tense, worn out, and STRESSED.”

Now. Did you try it? How did it make you feel to say all of that? Was it uncomfortable or make you think of ways you neglect or avoid yourself? Maybe you need to change a few words here or there to make it more personal. Does being “selfish” evoke a negative connotation for you, or can you see how it can actually be a really caring thing especially if you spend a lot of time caring for others? I have noticed lately the ways that some of my clients refer to self care as not deserving or not wanting to be judged for being selfish. I am trying to show you how “selfish” isn’t a bad thing! Self care and being selfish happens from moment to moment. We have more opportunities than we realize to be selfish in a great way. To “take care of ourselves” even in seemingly small ways— whether it’s grabbing an apple and some nuts at the last minute and having it with us for when we know later we are going to need it OR something like saying NO to an invitation that you usually say yes to because you think you “should". These things DO connect with how we manage stress. Listen to your gut— it will guide you, too. And as they say— progress not perfection.

Sharing some Mexico with You

This past Monday was the new moon in Aries, a sign of creative new beginnings and yes SPRING. On the eve of my birthday I sit here thinking about a promise I made to myself a long time ago that I will never forget (although I admit there are fleeting moments when it’s a tough one for me to implement). I remember being a kid and watching adults avoid talking about their age, making stupid jokes about turning a certain age or people saying I shouldn’t ask someone how old they are. At the time this made no sense to me. I vowed to myself I would not only always celebrate my birthday in some way or another no matter what, but that I would never be “ashamed” or hide my age but find ways to embrace the different aspects of what it means to change as life goes on and also the ways that certain parts actually get better. 

Age is a funny thing right? I’m sure any of you reading this right away have automatically programed ideas/images/preconceived notions about what age means to you. Even though the days (or weeks…) leading up to my birthday often stir up some anxiety, fears and confusion, once the actual day arrives I am ready and happy to embrace it.

I see this a lot with anticipating the inevitable changes in life - the build up is often harder to manage than the actual event itself (at least for me it is, can anyone relate to that?). I can’t help but find myself in the time leading up thinking about what “another year passing” means to me —What I have accomplished…what have I not accomplished that I thought I would have by now (and what does accomplishment even mean to me now?) what do I desire…where I am willing to compromise…what mistakes I have made…lessons learned…who are true friends that I’ve known through so many years…who are the friends I’ve lost…what does my future hold…how do I want to feel in the next many chapters…and so on.

This past month has been huge and full of all those questions. I was fortunate having the opportunity of making two important trips happen— both to Mexico (where I was born) but vastly different places and experiences. Worlds apart really. The first being educational and something to build on with a retreat I’m planning to bring back there. I am in the process of picking dates.
It was an extra special trip because my parents were able to come with me!

The space in-between the two trips was actually a very difficult time for me. Horribly so, actually. And sometimes that’s just the way it goes. I have learned to accept and look at it through a different lens. I think all these years of meditation is finally showing me how to do that better. (I’ll share more about that another time).

After the time away with people I love and care about, (NOT working on the second trip!!), resting, time playing in the water and sunshine, eating some of my all time favorite foods and just having time to be. What treasured time it was!  I came back feeling so much better and ready for the new season coming in. To me, as I have written about before— this feels more like the “new year” to me—(not because it’s my birthday) but because of what spring represents in all of us. The newness, the ground is thawing, the possibilities and energy after a long, dark winter. 

The Many Wonders of Vitamin D

Several months ago I went to see my lady-parts doctor for an annual checkup. It’s something I actually enjoy (yes it’s true) because it gives me an opportunity to be grateful that I am able to go and have the resources to do so. And also because it reminds me to pay attention to my body in a different way and ask questions. I usually get blood work done to check my levels. This time my doctor said to me, "I'm not letting you get your cholesterol or Vitamin D checked this year. Last year you had the best numbers I have ever seen. You should frame the results, hang them on the wall and keep helping people get healthier because whatever it is you are doing KEEP DOING IT. Don't waste anyone's time or money getting that checked." This of course made me laugh, AND notice how far I have come! I have had all sorts of health ups and DOWNS and yet my doctor told me this.  I also was celebrating the clients I have been fortunate enough to work with, helping them get these results. I LOVE my clients. They inspire me every day.
 

Why is Vitamin D so important? 

• Low Vitamin D can contribute to a long list of health issues from depression and low energy to trouble sleeping and Alzheimer's. Vitamin D is essential!
• Vitamin D is fat-soluble, so to absorb it you need to have it with a healthy fat. 
• The most Vitamin D-rich foods are actually fatty fish that live in cold waters, like salmon and sardines.
• So many people have Vitamin D deficiencies without even knowing it, and even people with access to sun exposure. 
• Studies have shown that a healthy adult can get most of her Vitamin D from 5-30 minutes of direct sunlight without sunscreen while the sun is high in the sky, which means from 12pm-2pm depending on where you live. It doesn’t take a huge amount but one can only reap the benefits if exposed at the right time and place, which often means that careful supplementation is necessary!
• A Vitamin D supplement can be the perfect complement to your daily intake during the winter months. It’s reasonable to believe that even a person eating a balanced diet might need one. It has helped me a lot!

Would my doc' give your Vitamin D intake a rave review?
Let me know if you need help bumping up your Vitamin D levels.
I am happy to help you experience the huge difference it can make.

It's the Baby Steps that Lead to the Big Leaps!

It's the end of January and still-- New Year's resolutions are a thing people do every year... or not. (Yes, even at the end of January!) Some people make resolutions and fully commit to them from day one to day 365. Others somewhat flippantly say they'll make an effort to fix or improve an area of their life, keeping the details quite vague. If that's you -- get specific with your details. Name it. See it happening as though it already is real. 

People who are goal-setting types plan their resolutions and map how they're going to stick to them throughout the year. Others, not so much. They count down to midnight, toast their friends, and just hope for a better year than the last. Or perhaps just go to sleep at 10pm and wake up to a new year, no biggie. I like to go into the new year in a different way, as I set goals and desires at different times all year long. (*By the way, I am purposely not going to address a massive national transition going on right now because I am focused here on the message being about YOU and the best ways you can still care for yourself despite these changes going on around us...)

Whatever type of personality you have, and whether you make resolutions or not, one good way to start a new year is by having a theme, an idea, or a word that will help shape your intentions for what you want to achieve and receive in the next year. This is something you can check in with all year long, and on every decision or moment of question, refer back to see if you're being true to your intention/theme.

As an example, let's say your theme is the intention to say "no" more often to taking on too much. You can keep this in mind during each new experience or whenever a question comes up. Refer back to it and ask yourself: "Will this help me with my desired theme for the year and how I want to feel? How will this help me feel better?" Try it!

This is a great way to feel aligned and to support your own development, physically and emotionally. A theme can help anyone! The new year comes during a time when it is dark and cold, during a time of hibernation. The real "New Year" in terms of feeling more awake and alive and ready to burst forth, is spring and then into summer. That's when we give birth to bounty. Right now in nature this is the period of rest, under damp soil. Things are messy and change is underground. Our bodies are cyclical, as is the earth. So a new year is great, but it's also okay if you're not feeling the new year enthusiasm. It's okay! I'm here to tell you it is. 

What's your theme or intention for the year ahead? Or even just the next month or six months? Sometimes it's better to break it into smaller chunks of time. I always say: "It's the baby steps that lead to the big leaps!"

Sending Peace Your Way

I am sending a seasonal shout out to make sure that you are taking good care of yourselves during this time. For a lot of us, this is a time of long "to-do" lists and rushing around, not to mention any family stressors and national "unrest," shall we say. So, what are you able to take OFF of your list?
One thing that I'm trying to take off of my list is the pressure I put on myself to be overly responsible for too many things, and allow others to help. This is often a challenge for me and yet it's actually liberating to take things off the list! I need my own elves all year long.
I had a small gathering with some ladies by the fire this past week in honor of the Winter Solstice, literally the darkest time of the year and also the beginning of winter. It really is a time nature asks us to go inward, slow down, and rest--though that doesn't happen much for many people it seems. And instead of feeling like I had to "do it all" (hint-- taking things OFF of my list), I asked others to bring things and take the lead as well. It felt relaxing and expansive instead of me thinking of all the things I should have done or cook the perfect whatever, because that's not what it's about.
I think many of you can also relate to this--I would like to leave behind my "lack mentality" (which isn't really true of course). I have put on weight because the stress of "lack" does NOT do a body good and I am helping others work on this as well. Let's knock that one off the list too shall we? 

I appreciate my clients tremendously, it's an honor to work with people who are bettering themselves in so many ways. I feel a lot of real joy witnessing incredible feats you thought were "impossible" for yourselves!
As 2016 comes to an end, slow down just enough to focus on a few of your accomplishments for this year and appreciate something fascinating about the body you live in, no matter what.

Here are some ideas that might help you de-stress.

Dancing in Christmas lights

On a night out with a dear friend, this was our PG-13 way of still trespassing (hard-core) and not getting arrested. YES! A fun and therapeutic way to let loose and laugh a lot. Try it yourself. Have a little fun!

Not a dancer?

The artistic process always helps me. Try these 22 Calming Videos For When It's All Too Much. It's all mesmerizing.  Click HERE to watch.

And if that doesn't work, you can always return to breathing. Our natural relaxant that we all-so-often forget. Check out THIS great little tool and try it out.